Two Years Ago, A Light Went Out...

... and my heart was broken, on July 28, 2004. That was the day my beloved soulmate of 19 years, Rory, was taken from me. Heaven welcomed Rory that fateful day. I sit here two years later, not knowing why my heart feels so heavy, when I know that he doesn't hurt anymore.

This year, so much has happened. I graduated, my grandson was born, and I have restarted my life in a new direction. Yet I think back and miss him so, so much. My heart aches everytime I think of him. I miss his smile, his jokes, his ability to make magic (Yeah, Rory was a magician). I miss his smell. I had his pillowcase for the longest time, unwashed, because it still smelled like him. But my nana was right. The smell fades. And in time, goes away. The hurt doesn't.

But most of all, I miss him next to me, in my bed, every night, cuddling me. I still feel like he will be right next to me when I wake up. And of course, he isn't.

God, my heart aches.